Time and Time, Again and again
by moonbird
Summary: contains every single doctor meeting up for a very short amount of time. Each of them having different thoughts and point of view of the situation, only time and patients will unravel the situation, but by then it's kind of late.
1. The dignified grandfather

_From the point of view of the first doctor. _

"Oh, that's how it happened!" That words was uttered by a young lad, with an apparent liking of bowties, the doctor didn't know, but yet somehow the lad seemed familiar. As the lad had spoken the words he quickly covered his mouth with his hand as a sheepish smile played on his face and a apologizing look was to be found in his eyes, like if he knew he wasn't supposed to say that. The apologizing look was answered with killer looks from the surrounding people, most noticeable looks that seemed like ready to tear the lad apart, came from a tall velvet dressed white haired dandy and a young man in a cricket outfit..

The doctor couldn't help but feel intimidated, he had just been pulled from time and space and as Susan had refused to let go she had been pulled with him, into this massive yet empty room out of time and space, and all around him it was filled with people the doctor had never seen. Yet many of them struck him, like the bowtie boy, as frighteningly familiar. And it felt like he should know them, though few of them seemed like the type he would ever like to be seen in public with, they were all a bunch of children as far as he could see.

"Grandfather where are we?" Susan asked while looking out in the room, wearily observing all these strange people.

"Outside of time and space my dear" the Doctor clapped her hand firmly while also holding it tight. "nothing to worry about, it's only a matter of time before time and space will rearrange itself and throw us back to where we came from, most likely also even erase our memories of this mess."

"Grandfather... I think I know the aura of these people." Susan hesitated as she looked out in the room. "Well, most of them."

"So you fell it to." the doctor drew a hand to his chin as he furrowed his brows. "I don't know how, but I think I am supposed to recognize these people, what a bizarre bunch wont you say? I probably avoided them in the past" he chuckled to himself.

"Grandfather…" Susan hesitated as she looked carefully at the doctor clearly thinking of how break to news. "The aura is yours..."

"What?" the doctor widened his eyes as he looked out in the room again. First thing he saw was a man with blond curly hair in a tasteless robe, the doctor knew he wouldn't touch with a ten foot long poking stick, and to make the image worse the man was shouting for no apparent reason at the tall dandy looking fellow, who was wearing the most tasteless velvet, while the blond man with a celery attached to his cricket coat tried make peace, only to have a little hobo of a man join the fight against the velvet dandy one. And is celery and cricket coat wasn't enough, the oddest looking fellow the doctor had ever seen, with a scarf so long it could be good for nothing but tripping over was hugging an unfortunate young companion who apparently also had been sucked through time and space with one of the other people. The young lad who first had uttered the first sentence looked almost as odd as he stood there and looked around with a slight smile on his lips exchanging a couple of words with a tall skinny bloke who wore a pin striped suit. Before all of a sudden they both split in a incredible fast space, darting each their direction as hyperactive children, to seek the attention of people in a loud childish manner lacking anything as much as resembling grace at all, and showcasing no consideration for prober etiquette.

"Good grief." he looked horrified at all the different incarnations which surrounded him. And all the different companions which just wasn't Susan. He just couldn't help but tug her closer to him. It was a bit difficult to comprehend he would somehow end up as these people, and the thought also felt frightening, but not as frightening as it would in a moment.

Without realizing he was there, suddenly a dead silent incarnation of the Doctor stood in front of him, a man who had shaved his head bald and wore a plain black leather jacket over a plain black shirt. Something the doctor could never have dreamed that he would ever wear, but that wasn't the scary part at all, the scary part was how silent he was, and how he was just looking intensely at Susan without breaking a smile, or any apparent face expression for that matter, he seemed emotionless.

And those eyes.. What had happened to those eyes? They were like boundless pits of sorrow and misery the doctor for his soul couldn't shake off.

Susan the brave girl looked back at the bald man with such understanding and bravery as she let go of the doctors' hand, to embrace the stranger in a hug. He whispered something into her ear the doctor couldn't hear and Susan nodded whispering some words back. Then the leather jacket doctor simply let go, only one look was offered the old looking doctor and then the look was fixed at Susan until he wordlessly turned around and walked away only to stop midway to give a slight comment to the odd looking scarfed doctor and continue his voyage corner where a young blond girl was waiting for him after having said goodbye to the tall pinstriped one. Now she gently took the bald doctor's hand in a way he so obviously needed, though it didn't help on the bald mans moping or his sorrow eyes.

And Susan's hand equally searched his as she could sense his fright. "Are you okay grandfather?" Susan asked.

"Quite my dear" the doctor assured throwing away any worries and once again clapped her hands. "What a bunch of children." he then commented and actually meant as he was reminded of the to say it mildly, bizarre people who was supposedly him.. what had gone wrong in every single one of his regenerations?.

"I don't know... they are you, they can't be too bad." Susan argued.

"They are most certainly not, just people with my memory." the doctor argued right back. "Just look at that." he pointed with just one finger towards a little guy with a straw hat who was showing off to a young brunette by joggling 5 balls in the air in balancing on a chair. "I would never do anything like that."

"Maybe he is just trying to cheer her up." Susan argued but didn't seem so sure anymore. "They can't be to bad, they are you." she then said again.

But just to have the universe prove against her another strange little man with a mop of black hair and also a liking towards the bowtie walked over to Susan with open arms. "Susan!" he smiled widely.

Giving the white haired doctor an apologizing smile she once again let go of his hand to give the shorter version a hug. "Grandfather" she smiled, and then pulled away to look at him. "You look good." she smiled.

"First try at regeneration." The doctor smiled. "I had wondered what you would think."

"I think it's great." Susan smiled. And the white haired doctor had to give a disapproving sound to tell what his thoughts was on the matter, he didn't like what he saw. Not the slightest bit.

"Oh would you please stop, I have great respect for you and all, but I just couldn't lay down and die now could I?" the black haired doctor now spoke directly to the white haired version.

"Certainly not." the Doctor sniffed. "But I would expect some kind of dignity from you." he made aware in a very disapproving tone, he had been a very important figure back at Gallifray after all, dignity was high on his list of what was important.

"Of all things." The black haired doctor muttered annoyed. "Why give me that rant just look at them." He doctor gestured out in the room where chaos had broken loose, The doctor with the multi coloured coat was now shouting at the tall one with the pin striped suit, who at least had the dignity not to shout back and just shook his head closing the discussions as he turned around only to discover that a doctor with long brown curls and a elegant green jacket had his hands on the bald leather jackets doctor's jacket, almost shaking it, and at once the doctor in the pin striped suit took a hand on the green jacket doctor's shoulder while shaking his head his head saying some words.

And yet the clash coloured doctor was already picking a fight with the tall scarfed odd looking one, who were also just shaking his head, the clash coloured doctor turned to the one with the celery for a last word, which were shouted into the cricket dressed mans face, before shouty turned around on his hells and wandered off, only to do something very surprising, he went very calmly to the what appeared to be one of the many companions who had been sucked with the doctor's into the abnormally, only to gently clap him on the shoulder.

"Please don't judge them." Another bowtie Doctor, the young one who had uttered the first words in the room, asked of them as he suddenly stood beside them. "They have just been through much, and is on different times in their life.. Your life I suppose."

And then the doctor noticed, this young version had the same kind of eyes as the bald moody one, so inconsistent and painful. He had been speaking mostly to Susan though.

"I understand grandfather." she nodded. "Your after him." she nodded towards the bald doctor.

"I'm the oldest in here." the Doctor acknowledged. "Afraid all of this is my fault, but I guess it's sort of luck for me anyhow."

"You get to see us again." Susan answered the question the doctor was asking himself, why on earth would anyone ever want to go over this again and again? To see Susan again.. Where would Susan go.

"What becomes of Susan?" the question escaped his mouth.

"Ah ah" the bowtie doctor pocked his nose making the white haired doctor role his eyes. "Spoilers." the young doctor told teasingly. "Goodbye Susan." he then told Susan seriously.

Susan gave a little smile as the white haired doctor eyed her seriously. "Buy Grandfather, just to make it clear, whatever happens there is nothing to regret, I love you."

And that made the fear sparkle in the white haired doctor's chest, what was it that bald doctor had said to her? What was all this. What was going to happen to him, and much more importantly what was going to happen with Susan? "Wait a minute young man!" but it was already to late, as the young looking bowtie and Susan was hugging the world was once again twirling, and before he knew what was going on the Doctor stood in his Tardis scratching his head, it was like he had forgotten something very important, but what was more important Susan seemed upset and wouldn't let go of him for reasons she wouldn't explain.

"Susan child, calm yourself want you."

"I'm sorry Grandfather." She flustered apologising. "I just don't want you to go."

"Why on earth would I go anywhere?" The doctor asked confused. "Susan, you know I wouldn't leave you behind right?"

Susan looked incredible unsure at him. "yeah… right." She muttered.. it sounded like she actually doubted it right now, which just deepened the mystery for the doctor.


	2. The little hobo

"Oh, That's how it happened"

The black haired doctor shoot a sharp look to his much older counterpart, oh no, here he went again, so he really had to relive this mess a full eleven times.

"Doctor where are we?" Jamie who had been holding on with Zoe both looked wide-eyed around.

"Well, it's kind of hard to explain." the Doctor tried. "We are sort of out of time and space, this is a limbo, not to worry though, it will all flatten itself out." he assured.

"How do you know that?" Zoe asked, "And who are these people."

"I know because I've been here before, and these people.. Well" the Doctor felt a bit ill as he looked at the nine unfamiliar faces and the one familiar sitting in a corner with Susan. "Most of them is my future, and because of that I will forget this event until I come back again, you might remember though.. I think Susan might did.. I don't know." the Doctor had one of his famous fits when he lost overview.

"Doctor you're not making any sense!" Jamie complained. "Can't you just get us out of here?"

"I'm afraid not, but it will all be over in a little while I promise." He flustered around, before completely loosing it. "OH FOR HEAVENS SAKE!"

Already the clash coloured one was yelling at the velvet doctor, and it was giving the doctor a head ache. "Would you please cut it out!" he yelled into both their faces as he had approached them, and discovered only to late the blond one with the cricket outfit had almost made them stop.

"Oh it's you." the Dandy one wrinkled his nose. "I really could do without you, though better you than him" he pointed towards the clash coloured doctor, who already was in the throat of the one with the cricket outfit.

"Oh what is that supposed to mean!" the Doctor grumped as the only thing he could do when he lost focus was to get his frustrations out on something, and that Dandy fellow just annoyed him.

"That you're a little hobo of a man, and you should really learn to calm down, I'm sure it's all your fault that we are going to turn into that." He pointed towards the clash coloured sight that, well at least it seemed like the man had calmed down a bit as he talked to the celery kid.

"Well your just a self-important stiff neck aren't you." the doctor turned right back at the dandy, neither he could see how he would ever turn into that clash coloured clown, it most certainly couldn't be his fault, technically it would more likely be the Dandy's fault as the dandy would come somewhere after him.

"Oh for pities sake" the dandy velvet rolled his eyes, but then brightened up as he eyes went just above the doctor, and to where Jamie and Zoe would be. "Jamie! Zoe!" the dandy smiled a broad smile.

"Oh no you don't." The doctor cut off his way. "Not my fault you misplaced them, they don't need to be more confused."

"Like I misplaced Susan perhaps." The dandy immediately snapped and the doctor looked down feeling a little bit guilty and just a tiny hint of embarrassment, he didn't particularly liked the Dandy one, too stiff and self important, but the doctor couldn't deny the obvious, that the dandy just wanted to say hallo to Jamie and Zoe who apparently would get off the Tardis along the way, and the doctor himself had similar longings right now towards previous companions, he wanted to see Susan, he had missed her a lot.

Trying to take the defeat as a man he simply stepped aside and allowed the Dandy doctor to explain the situation for Jamie and Zoe.

Looking towards Susan the doctor saw the bald man hugging her, and a icing feeling went down the doctor's spine. Looking around he tried to take a better look at his future incarnations, he couldn't help but try and catch the view of whom was apparently the oldest incarnation, the bowtie lad who was running hurried, though now the doctor could see how obviouse it was that there was a pattern to the bowties running, he was targeting the companions specifically, trying to say hallo to as many as possible in his limited time span, saying a short word to them and then move on. the straw hat short man who had just been joggling for the young brunette had found another incarnation, the green jacket one and they were silently talking, it was actually surprising to see two of his incarnations not fighting, and suddenly the doctor realized he didn't have much time left before they would all get hurled back to their prober place in time and space. He just had to see Susan so he hurried to her aid and didn't waste a second to open his arms for a hug, how he had missed her. "SUSAN!" he exclaimed happily.

He could see how she couldn't help but smile as she gave his first incarnation an apologetic smile and then granted him full attention. As she smiled widely as she accepted his hug, "Grandfather" she acknowledged his identity to his great relief before pulling out and looking him over. "You look good." she commented

"First try at regeneration." The doctor smiled feeling proud, and relieved that she approved, he had been afraid she would laugh at him if she ever saw him again "I had wondered what you would think."

"I think it's great." Susan smiled.

And suddenly a great disapproving "hmpf" noise sounded from her side.

The doctor just couldn't help but fell annoyed. "Oh would you please stop, I have great respect for you and all, but I just couldn't lay down and die now could I?" he told his old incarnation off. He remembered the pain of dying the first time, it was weird standing there with his old self, almost weirder than standing around with people he was destined to become, and it made him remember, had he had a choice, of cause he wouldn't have regenerated, he had liked being who he was, he also liked who he was now, but it had taken time.

"Certainly not." the white haired Doctor sniffed. "But I would expect some kind of dignity from you."

The doctor already almost had it with his past self as he couldn't help but fell annoyed. "Of all things." He grumbled annoyed, just thinking about the dandy and the weird people he was destined to become, and the fight he knew was going to take place "Why give me that rant just look at them." He said gesturing out in the room not even bothering to look away from the white haired doctor and Susan as he already knew that chaos had broken loose, The doctor with the multi coloured coat would now be shouting at the tall one with the pin striped suit, who would have enough and simply turn around to discover the doctor with long brown curls and a elegant green jacket had his hands on the bald leather jackets doctor's jacket, almost shaking it, and at once the doctor in the pin striped suit would take a hand on the green jacket doctor's shoulder while shaking his head his head saying some words.

Though taking a look anyway the Doctor was shocked, he hadn't been looking probably the first time around, the green jacket doctor weren't just shaking the bald one lightly, no, he was shaking him very violently, almost strangling him.

"Please don't judge them." the young bowtie doctor said to them.

Oh god, him with the eyes. The doctor didn't wanted to see those lost eyes again, and he already had said his hallo to Susan, so he saw no point in hanging around that young looking incarnation, the feelings that floated from that bowtie lad just seemed to dark and endless to be around for long. Looking out in the room as he was letting the conversation he already knew pass by beside him, a young brunette who the doctor didn't knew was now talking to the Dandy one, the clash coloured doctor was clapping a young companions shoulder. And there the pin striped was beside the green jacket doctor, oh god, he also had the eyes. the brown eyes filled with hurtful knowing and the green jacket doctor standing beside him asking words just seemed scared.

Was there more with such eyes? How many of them had those eyes? And why? Involuntarily the doctor's eyes felt on the bald one who didn't looked out in the room, but just kept close to his companion. "Why?" was the only question dominating the doctor's mind, and how many of them was it, franticly he searched the room for other people with the eyes, but didn't even manage to catch as much as a pair before everything went fuzzy and he hurled back in time and space.


	3. The proud Dandy

Here we go again, the doctor really felt tired as he looked out in the grant empty room holding Jo's hand tightly as she too looked confused around out there.

"Look doctor, it's the other you!" Jo pointed towards the little hobo who was currently trying to explain the situation to Zoe and Jamie.

"Yeas it is" the doctor sighed. "And to be frank, there's yet another me, and another me, and another me" he pointed around the room. "a messy temporal abnormally all in all." he sighed deeply frustrated. "And another me I for my life can't see how I ever turn into" he raised an eyebrow as he looked disapprovingly at the clash coloured person standing next to him with his own brown haired companion.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" the clash coloured asked back huffing his companion behind his back.

The doctor really had no idea why on earth he would ever turn into anything remotely resembling that, he would have to have been on ecstasy before regeneration, maybe someone had tried to poison him with narcotic drugs and it had triggered a regeneration, that would explain a lot. "Oh come now, we both know how this is supposed to work." the doctor answered back just wanting to get over with it. "Anyone can see how unstable you are, in a minute you'll start shouting." he muttered bracing himself for the inevitable.

"I will not start SHOUTING!" it was already to late, the clash coloured was already shouting.

the Doctor snickered ever so slightly with a raised eyebrow by the grant contradiction. "Not shouting you say? now what would you call that?"

"I would call it being provoked." the clash coloured answered back in a beyond grumpy attitude.

"I don't provoke people." the doctor had to wistfully make him aware.

"Sure you don't, what would you then call it whenever you annoy the brigadier, and don't forget, I am you." The clash coloured smirked. "I know it's on purpose, it's because you can't stand him."

"That is totally beside the point" The doctor hissed not liking being provoked himself.

"Is it?" the clash coloured asked. "Doesn't that just mean you are horror full pain no matter where you are?"

"I will not tolerate such langue!" the doctor could fell his cheeks grow red as his frustration grew with this clash coloured mess, he really had no idea how he would ever become that.

"Not even from yourself?" the clash coloured mocked, as suddenly the cricket doctor interfered from behind them.

"Please, keep it down, this is just pointless." he tried to calm them, but also he was cut short as the doctor's previous little hobo of an incarnation also felt it necessary to join.

"Would you please cut it out!" he yelled into their faces in a much louder voice than the celery doctor, and it actually gave the doctor a minor shock that he had to recover from

"Oh it's you." the doctor never liked seeing his previous incarnations, it always provoked memories he had left behind him "I really could do without you, though better you than him" he gestured to the clash coloured doctor who was discussing with the celery kid. It was meant compliment hidden in a rude comment, at least he understood what was going on in the head of this little hobo incarnation incarnation, the clash coloured one he wished he would never see again.

But of cause the hobo didn't catch the compliment at all "Oh what is that supposed to mean!" the little man immediately fished for another fight which the doctor was really not in the mood for.

"That you're a little hobo of a man, and you should really learn to calm down, I'm sure it's all your fault that we are going to turn into that." The doctor flashed back, pointing towards the clash coloured who was just picking fights all over the place, already the discussion with the celery kid had turned into a fight.

"Well your just a self-important stiff neck aren't you." the short doctor turned right back while automatically raising himself on his feed as if he tried to get higher, which was stupid as the little man only went the third doctor to the chest.

"Oh for pities sake" the doctor just couldn't take his previous incarnation seriously and tried to avoid eye contact as he suddenly saw behind the little mans shoulders to get a glimpse of his companions that looked intensely at both of them "Jamie! Zoe!" He smiled feeling a sense of joy spreading through his chest by the sight of these familiar faces, companions that had been taken from him with no consideration for private goodbyes or explanations.

"Oh no you don't." The little doctor cut off his way. "Not my fault you misplaced them, they don't need to be more confused."

"Like I misplaced Susan perhaps?" The doctor asked the question, knowing that was bound to hit homerun as he had the extremely unfair advantages of knowing exactly what was going on in the little man's head, and no matter how much he tried, he couldn't really hate him, the little doctor just wanted to do what he thought was best for all of them, realizing his mistake the little man also just stepped aside to make him come through to Jamie and Zoe.

The thankful smile the doctor send to his previous incarnation was totally lost however as the little man was already looking thoughtful out in the room.

"How do you know our names?" Jamie was already up and aware as he hid Zoe behind his back while raising his hands in fist, ready to defend himself. The Doctor sighed deeply. "Jamie relax" he told the boy. "It's me."

"Me who?" Jamie lifted an eyebrow, not trusting the doctor at all, his hands still ready in fists.

"Remember the time when I kind put your face wrong back together, and you looked completely differently though still the same person, it's kind of like that, just more extensive." he tried to explain choosing his words carefully.

Zoe on the other hand was easily convinced as she gaped at him. "Doctor!" she moped. "but.. how? and she looked at the little man who just stood in the middle of the room, soon to move forward to Susan.

This doctor smirked amused at Zoe however. "I'm his future so to speak."

"Oh doctor!" another young woman he didn't knew came to his side. "I never thought I would see you you again"

The doctor blinked, "I'm sorry?"

"Doctor it's me! Sarah!" the young woman pressed on.

"Well I obviously haven't met you yet" the doctor apologised feeling a bit embarrassed by her obvious familiarity.

"What do you mean him him" Jamie suddenly approached Sarah getting closer to the doctor, but obviously not trusting him just yet.

"He changed appearance" Sarah told them. "I mean really, now he looks nothing like that." She told. "Or sound like that.. well sometimes, but.. yeah, he is different but not really."

The doctor chuckled. "Well I suppose that is one way to put it." He acknowledged. " Though it could count for just anyone around here." he looked around out in the room. "If you excuse me, I'll get back to you." he calmed the young Sarah as he turned back to Zoe and Jamie.

"Anyone around here?" Jamie looked questionably at him. "Are you saying all these blokes are the doctor."

"Those who are not companions" the doctor shrugged. "That older gentleman over there is your doctor's past, I am his nearest future, and all the others, way longer into the future." He explained.

"But if your his nearest future." Jamie looked changeling at the doctor. "Where are we?"

The feelings the doctor went through was kind of indecisive. Pride of Jamie's skills of seduction, humour by the familiarity of the situation, sadness knowing what had happened, or would happen depending on how you look at it. "You were send home to your own time." he told them honestly. "Not by choice really, but none of us had a chance to do anything about it." He shrugged. "I guess it was simply just time for all of us."

"But.. how?" Zoe asked, as the good hearted person she was , she was already trusting his words. as long as he didn't start asking weird questions.

"I can't tell you that as there is a fair chance you actually remember all of this, though he won't" he pointed towards the doctor who was currently talking with Susan and their old self. "Not until he is here again as me, which is why I just wanted to tell you." he smiled a sly smile at them, feeling the honest pride filling his chest. "I am so proud of you, off all you have done and learned, and you have grown so much, just wanted to say that."

Forgetting any doubts Zoe was giving him a great hug which he accepted gladly. "Thank you" she said. "Just behave."

"I'm always behaving!" he told her off, feeling his pride having been hurt a bit. And the fight was already going with the clash coloured shouting at the pin striped. only this time he could see the pin striped eyes, again those eyes of deep sorrow and misery, loneliness and longing, and it went directly to the doctors chest. "I think there was another young woman who wanted to have a word before all this mess sorts itself out." he had to apologies to Zoe. "And of cause I behave, if you just make sure Jamie does the same for once." he teased her and Jamie.

And he had to turn around to try and find that Sarah girl. "Hey doctor." Jamie sounded from behind and the doctor looked over his shoulders to catch Jamie's eyes. "Thank you doctor." Jamie then said, and the doctor flashed a smiled.

Finding Sarah wasn't difficult, she was looking far away to the young bowtie doctor who was now standing with Susan and the old white haired previous incarnation.

"Sarah" the doctor tried to snap her out of it. "Something you wanted to say to me, you better hurry it won't last long before we all swirl back to our own time."

"Oh" Sarah looked back at him. "I suppose it's rather silly really, I mean I am travelling with you right now, I should just speak to him... though."

"though he isn't really me. Sarah I understand." the doctor promised her, he kind of looked forward to really meet this girl, she seemed nice and caring.

"Oh dear, now I don't really know what to say." Sarah smiled unsure of herself, breaking a nervous laughter.

"I think I understand though" The doctor promised her. "no need for awkwardness between friends right."

And he was granted with yet another hug from a young brunette as Sarah embraced him, taking his advice of no awkward words. and the space continuum had taken its course and pulled them apart to hurl them back in time and space. Where the doctor found himself tinkering with his dematerialisation circuit, cursing that it wouldn't work and Jo laughing beside him. "Well what are you laughing at!" he asked. "the damn thing finally started to work and then broke again because the damn time lords didn't found it necessary to give me a prober model for my type of Tardis, it's not funny at all."

"Oh doctor, I'm sure you will have it fixed and be total free of any bounds within your own time." She said a light playing in her eyes.

"Oh" the doctor raised an eyebrow. "it's not like you saying stuff like that, you usually have now faith in me."

"Let's just say I had a revelation in time." Jo teased in a mysterious voice.

For a moment the doctor looked mystified at her, but then shrugged dismissing her, he really didn't have time for any more teasing, even though there had been no Brigadier around to annoy him today, it still felt like his daily quote of patience to people was already used up, and he could not bear another argument... despite not having had a single one all day.


	4. The free bohemian

Then it happened yet again, The doctor stood in the large room holding Sarah Jane's hand. "Doctor.. what is this?" she asked as she looked around on all the people.

"Remember that time where I regenerated." The doctor silently asked Sarah out of the corner of his mouth. "That is probably not going to be anything near the last time, this is a abnormal event out of time and space and these are.." his eyes shortly fell on the two old Doctors with eyes, the bowtie and the pin striped who exchanged a few words.

"Oh my god they are you" Sarah gasped. "all of them!"

"Future and past." the doctor explained as the fight had broken loose between his last incarnation and the clash coloured doctor. All right he had been provoking the clash coloured doctor at the time, but that was no reason for the clash coloured to continue fighting with the other incarnations, he really didn't understand what the deal was with him, or the pin striped doctor who already was running around in a very high tempo as well as the young bowtie, though both with such regretting eyes. They were both saying hallo to dear friends they had dropped off and probably would never see again, he got that, he felt it to looking at Susan, Jamie, Zoe and Jo who had been left unguarded by the dandy incarnation of him, but the two old doctor's eyes and mysterious manners was a mystery to him. "It will all sort itself out in just a moment." he promised Sarah. "Just excuse me." And he went straight for the unguarded Jo to give her a well deserved hug.

"Doctor" Jo exclaimed a bit shocked, all though she already had been explained the situation by his third incarnation. "Is that.. is that really you?" she asked, fortunately not fighting the hug, but just accepting it.

"Just the way I am supposed to be, free in time and space, and free of earths view of what is normal" he released the girl, who smiled carefully at him, and then she broke through to a great smile.

"So you got the Tardis to work again!" she almost clapped her hands in joy.

The doctor pocked his nose with his finger as he smiled knowingly at Jo. "Just don't tell the old mule head, he is not supposed to know."

The smile Jo had on her face evolved to a great laugh. "Oh doctor, I am happy for you."

The doctor could only smile down to Jo, as he out of his eye caught Sarah Jane stepping away from his old dandy self, only to have the young looking bowtie pocking on her shoulder to lift her up in a slight embrace, before he moved on very quickly.

It was good talking to Jo again, just catching up on what he had been doing lately, sadly his mood had to be spoiled as the bald moody one had just gone away from Susan and the white haired doctor and passed his way where he stopped to look at the scarfed Doctor, and they met each others eyes. The doctor once again was left to wonder what ever was up with those eyes.

"You had the chance" the bald one said in a mildly angry and disappointed voice yet the sadness in the words were the most dominating. "You could have ended it." he said the words so silently, yet they cut through to the doctor, and the bald one returned to his corner and companion.

The doctor had no idea what the bald moody one was talking about, but the way he said it, and the fact of the sad eyes he was so aware off came from his future was enough to make the doctor gip and fell the icing go down his spine, he really didn't liked those eyes, he knew his eyes already now was sad but those were nothing compared to this. to these pits of misery.

And then there was the pin striped one who was right now with a young girl whom looked like quite the tumbler, and the bowtie one who was walking away from Sarah Jane to leave her with his previous incarnation. Those three seemed like the trio off sadness and loneliness.

"What was that about?" Jo asked. "He could at least have said hallo." she pouted.

The doctor had to force his look away from this trio of the eyes to get back to Jo, though he knew that was even taking a while for him as Jo was getting impatient. "I really don't know what it's about, but I think it would be wise not to disturb him." he side glanced at the bald doctor whom he knew was just standing around moping with his young companion.

"Oh doctor look, what are they doing" Jo' scared pointed at the green jacket doctor who was shaking the bald moody one with great violence. "Can't you do something?" Jo pleaded.

to honour Jo's request the doctor had already stepped towards the fighting couple before he realized the pin striped one had already stopped them with a gentle hand on the green jacket doctor's shoulder while shaking his head and saying some words.

The clash coloured doctor was standing right in front of the doctor as he looked with suspicious eyes at the pin striped doctor.

"I really don't get it" the doctor sighed as he spoke to the clash coloured one in front of him. "why do you shout?"

The clash coloured turned quickly around as he sniffed. "What do you know!" he yelled at him. "Nothing! That's what you know."

The doctor just shook his head as he had honestly given up on this on. "I just don't get it."

"Of cause you don't" the clash coloured snapped, and then he turned to the left to face the celery doctor. "And neither do you" he said to him. "But you will, mark my words, it's all this god damn fate. BLAST IT ALL!" he yelled those last words to the celery doctor, right into his face even, making the cricket doctor step back, before the clash coloured wandered off.

The celery doctor quickly caught the doctor's eye as he smiled an nervous smile, which the fourth doctor defeated returned.. before suddenly all the colour seemed to leave the blond doctors face, his entire face expression faltered in what looked like horrified realization and he turned around and sprinted clash coloured doctor.

The fourth doctor was just left to look at the green jacket and pin striped doctor's right in front of him, the green jacket looking so scared. The doctor was now so close that he could fell the angst while sympathy was floating from the pin striped incarnation.

What was it the doctor was missing? "What is it I am missing?" he asked at the two in front of him and he suddenly had to know the answer. "What was I supposed to do I didn't?" he remembered the bald once words, _`you could have ended it´_ Ended what? He stepped forward to demand answers but discovered only to late that the hurling once again had begun, and before he knew what had happened the doctor was back in his Tardis cursing his sometimes lack of memory, he could swear that there was something very important he had to remember, he just couldn't remember what it was, Sarah on the other hand seemed very happy and content, so he supposed that everything was just dandy. And if it was that important, he probably would remember it sooner or later. He always did in the end.


	5. The gentle cricketfan

"Oh that's how it happened!"

The doctor really felt like he could kill that lad with his own hands right now, and he didn't hide it as he send the young looking bowtie doctor a look he knew would make other people squirm. Only this doctor just smiled apologizing back at him before the young looking doctor's attention was demanded by the pin striped one, and two doctors with eyes was suddenly speaking together with low voices. It was a sight the doctor would rather have been without as it seemed like they were discussing deep dark secrets and asking each other questions that carried the weight and importance of the universe, and the really scary thing was that he would one day be in their place.

"Doctor where are we?" Adric asked as he stood with Tegan behind the doctor. Nyssa had not managed to hold on as the temporal abnormally happened so she was not with them, but Adric and Tegan had been holding tight and was here now

The doctor was really tired of explaining this ordeal however, so he just wanted to get over with it as quickly as possible and took a deep breath to explain it all shortly. "apparently some future incarnation of mine have been tinkering with something he really shouldn't, so all of his past selves, that means me, have been thrown into this temporal abnormally, it will all sort itself out in some minutes though, including memories in real time, I have already been through this four times, and forgotten it every time."

"Oh I see" Adric nodded.

Tegan however looked just as confused as she had been before the explanation. "What?" she asked.

"I don't provoke people!"

The yelling had started and it was already giving the doctor a head ache. "Adric will explain." he then told Tegan off as he moved towards his velvet third incarnation and his future un-numbered clash coloured incarnation. "please keep it down, this is just pointless." he tried to calm the two down as he had reached them. but that was only to have his own carefully constructed calm attitude being totally ruined by his own second incarnation that invaded them. "Would you please cut it out!" the little hobo yelled into their faces.

It didn't take long for the clash coloured to get the situation however, as he turned towards the fifth doctor pointing at him. "you." he said in bitter tone. "There you are, what about that?" he said in a voice dripping with sarcasm.

"What about me?" the doctor asked back with lifted eyebrow. "You should know, I am you!" he made aware, having no idea what he had ever done to sparkle his future incarnations specific targeted anger.

"Oh and how foolish you were." the clash coloured doctor sneered. "Couldn't even do anything right."

"I have no idea what you're talking about" the doctor told him back actually feeling annoyed, this was really uncalled for.

"That's the whole problem isn't it?" the clash coloured doctor said. "you just don't know do you? it's so simple with those people" he gestured towards the bald doctor who was on his way towards Susan and the pin striped getting his way to the bald's blond companion. "But you just don't see it yet!"

The doctor could only shake his head at his future incarnation, the clash coloured really had his head swarmed in something not very healthy, no, the doctor didn't see it. "But I suppose I will" he tried to turn away not wanting to be anywhere near the clash coloured one at all, though rather him than the trio with the eyes he realized as saw the pin striped doctor approach the tumbler, a hint of regret obvious in all of his movements.

"Yeas you will" the clash coloured one told after him. "But it will be too late, I'm the next one in line so you watch out."

The doctor kept walking away but the icing when down his spine when the reality hit him, he would become that man next, it was a scary reality. longingly the doctor looked at his fourth incarnation who was talking with Jo, that incarnation had lasted for a very long time, maybe this one would to, he hoped so, even more longingly he looked at Susan who stood with his first incarnation and the second was just about to approach them after giving them a breather from the bald one, no one had lasted longer than his first incarnation, why couldn't he ever use his incarnations to their fullest like the first time? He kind of wanted to go and say hallo to Susan but the clash coloured held his attention as he suddenly actually could see himself in the man, there was dignity beneath the yelling, and worry, a worry he himself had felt from the start as he discovered his future selves and discovered the eyes.

suddenly a young nervous brunette he didn't knew was beside him. "excuse me" she said carefully as she approached him. "Doctor." she added.

"Yeas what is it" he asked in the most gentle tone he could muster in this weird situation. "You must excuse me if I don't recognize you, time travel and all that, I don't believe that I have met you yet."

"Oh that's all right" the young brunette answered a little embarrassed. "I just wanted to thank you for saving my life.. and tell you, no that is really it. just thank you" she told him.

The doctor tried to smile gently at her, before she broke out again. "I'm sorry I made you change into that, I really didn't mean to!" she gestured towards the clash coloured one.

"It's all right." the doctor assured her as he tried to calm her, she obviously didn't seem to comfortable with the situation, but there had to be a reason why he had kept her around, so he supposed she was a good person, at least he had that much faith in himself, he would never allow a bad person stay on the Tardis. "Sometimes things like that just happens, or at least when your travelling with a alien in a magical blue box things like that can happen."

The brunette smiled relieved at him. "please don't judge him to quickly though" she told the doctor. "He just worries too much and doesn't really knows when to leave things alone, that's all" she smiled weakly and offered her hand for a gentle hand shake, which the doctor naturally accepted.

The clash coloured doctor also seemed to try and calm himself as he talked to the pin striped one. The pin striped shook his head denying whatever was asked of him which only seemed to anger the clash coloured one, until the fight finally broke out and the clash coloured one was yelling into the face of the pin striped who was none responsive to the abuse and just shook his head. And finally the doctor got to see how the green jacket got to the leather jacket doctor, which was much simpler than you would think, he had simply been standing with the little guy with the straw hat and now took three long steps towards the bald doctor and took a hard grip in his leather jacket shaking the bald doctor who didn't even try to defend himself, yelling into his face.

trying to move closer to just hear some of the words there had been said as the doctor had difficulty containing himself. It was already too late however, as the pin striped doctor was calming the green jacket down. Desperate to hear just some of the words that were exchanged the doctor moved yet even closer, and discovered only to late that had was standing beside the clash coloured one again, and that his fourth incarnation was speaking to him.

"I just don't get it" the deep baritone of the fourth incarnation sounded, as he questioning the clash coloured about all the shouting.

The fifth doctor thought he did get it now, kind of at least, he shouted because he was worried.

The clash coloured who was so short tempered however turned around to face the scarfed incarnation. "of cause you don't" he shouted, just making the scarfed doctor shake his head as he had given up, and the clash coloured one turned to the fifth doctor. "And neither do you!" he said to the doctor, and even though the doctor didn't get it, he could now see the regret in the clash coloured doctor's eyes. but.. regret for what?

"But you will, mark my words, it's all this god damn fate. BLAST IT ALL!" And he turned away to walk away.

The doctor was left with his previous fourth incarnation feeling a bit unsure, but tried to lift the mood with a little smile anyhow, which only caused a raised eyebrow from his fourth incarnation, before he smiled defeated back. in the corner of his eye he could see the clash coloured doctor with sunken shoulders pass Adric where he stopped and gave Adric a pat on the shoulder while saying a few words before walking on with bitter regret in his moves as the doctor could suddenly fell his smile falter and his hearts sink.

Something bad was going to happen, he knew that now, the evidence was overwhelming and how he could have missed it before was beyond himself. Something very bad was going to happen to Adric! desperate to figuring out what, the doctor sprinted after the clash coloured one. "Wait!" he yelled in desperation. "What is going to happen to Adric?" he yelled as he reached out a hand to get to the clash coloured one. "Tell me!" at last he had reached the clash coloured doctor and had a firm grip on his shoulder, but only to realize that it was too late. The hurling had begun. "Tell me!" he begged at the multi coloured doctor who didn't even turn around, and before he knew it everything was hurled back in place.

Something incredible important had happened, it was evident on Adric's face that he was worried, but the doctor couldn't quite figure out why, everything seemed to be in the finest order and nothing in the Tardis had been broken for days, Adric had all the reasons in the world to be happy and content, so why did he seem so worried, and why did he look at the doctor like that?


	6. The worried menace

He really, really didn't want to go through all this again. To see all these past incarnations who looked with wonder around, and all of them wondering what the trio of eyes was all about, oh yeas he had figured now, and the sight of Adric talking to his fifth incarnation just helped to remind, how many more? was his question, how many more Adrics before he would finally get those eyes? the eyes that reflected the feeling he had gotten when Adric died on his watch, the eyes of guilt. Of failing the most basic form of protection, and the most basic unwritten promise when taking a companion on-board.

"Doctor.. where are we?" Peri asked as she looked worried around the room.

The doctor really and absolutely didn't felt like going over this with Peri, at all, but took it upon himself to try. "A temporal abnormally my dear child" he told her. "Past and future incarnations of myself pulled together for a short time being, before just being thrown back in time with no memories of the event what so ever before it happens again."

"So, most of these people are you?" Peri looked wearily out in the room.

"And another me, and another me, and another me" it sounded from the told proud velvet dandy just beside them. "And another me I for my life can't see how I turn into" the Dandy looking one said with a lifted eyebrow, looking as disapprovingly as possible at the sixth doctor.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" the doctor snapped back at his younger self, as he got Peri behind his back, no reason for her to be caught in the middle of this. This dandy had no idea what he was talking about, how dared he judge him?

"Oh come now, we both know how this is supposed to work." The dandy doctor answered all knowingly and so important and self-righteous "Anyone can see how unstable you are, in a minute you'll start shouting."

The doctor really felt pissed, he really didn't needed to be lectured right now "I will not start SHOUTING!" He yelled back in a desperate attempt to make the velvet doctor somehow shut up.

to the doctor's great sense of annoyance the velvet doctor now snickered mockingly making the doctor feeling like such an idiot "Not shouting you say? now what would you call that?"

"I would call it being provoked." The doctor answered flat back feeling that was exactly what was happening, he had not wanted to be here in the first place, and now he was just being provoked.

"I don't provoke people." the oh so self important velvet figure stated knowingly.

but the sixth doctor was not easily let a stray, he knew very well what was going on inside of the Dandy's head, he had been there. "Sure you don't, what would you then call it whenever you annoy the brigadier, and don't forget, I am you." He smirked feeling satisfied, he had this dandy in his pawn. "I know it's on purpose, it's because you can't stand him." he spat the words knowing it was the true, remembering very well his old pass time amusement of annoying the brigadier. It had been a marvellous pass time as he had been stuck on earth, and had to get rid of his annoyance somehow.

"That is totally beside the point" The doctor in velvet hissed to the great satisfaction of the sixth doctor.

"Is it?" the doctor asked knowing he had hit home-run with his last argument and was now only working on getting the velvet doctor as provoked as possible, to try and turn it around. "Doesn't that just mean you are horror full pain no matter where you are?" he asked with a slight smile just enjoying to see somebody else being pissed for once.

"I will not tolerate such language!" the velvets doctor's cheeks had grown red as he was now the one yelling, and the doctor was really self satisfied as he knew this dandy incarnation never yelled and never lost it, he had really hit the right buttons.

"Not even from yourself?" the doctor asked mockingly by the irony of the situation.

"please, keep it down, this is just pointless." The cricket doctor had come to play peace maker, which actually made the doctor forget all about the velvet one instantly the moment he saw that apparent young face.

"Would you please cut it out!" his second incarnation had reached the scene and at least made the dandy also forget about the current fight.

The doctor was much more interested in the celery kid as he didn't waste a moment to point fingers "you." he said, this was all his fault, if he had just been more careful, if he had just been more observant "There you are, what about that?" he knew he was sneering, but couldn't really care right now.

"What about me?" the unknowingly doctor asked with a lifted eyebrow "You should know, I am you!"

the truth did hurt, the celery doctor's mistakes were his own mistakes, and he could do nothing to remove the guilt from his consciousness "Oh and how foolish you were." was the only thing he could say to let the guilt be released in a sneer "Couldn't ever do anything right." he let out his quilt of his own mistakes.

"I have no idea what you're talking about" the doctor told him back in a annoyed grumpy tone, much more fitting for an old man than the young face.

"That's the whole problem isn't it?" the doctor mocked the unknowing doctor who hadn't seen it yet, he knew the young face had seen death, but not like that, no on his own watch, and he didn't see the simple truth of the eyes "you just don't know do you? it's so simple with those people" he didn't need to look as he gestured towards the trio of eyes, how many Adrics would it take was his eternal question "But you just don't see it yet!" Why could this young looking doctor just not see it, it was so simple!

It was to the doctors great annoyance that the young looking cricket doctor just shook his head, totally dismissing what it was the doctor had to say "But I suppose I will" The cricket doctor tried to turn away, afraid of the truth was he, or just confused. It was both, the doctor knew that, he remembered now, this was after-all nothing but a shadow of his past.

"Yeas you will" the doctor made his slightly younger self aware, and his mind floated back to Adric and what was going to happen "But it will be too late, I'm the next one in line so you watch out." he warned the younger doctor, hoping beyond reason it would make just a slight bit of difference, though knowing it was just not going to happen, this was his past, it would not magically rewrite itself without major consequences

Looking with worry out in the room to try and find Peri the doctor suddenly felt an urge to make sure she was all right. She was just saying good bye to one of his future incarnations, the little man with the straw hat, and made her way to celery boy, he could grant her to try and make peace with herself, he knew his sudden regeneration had been a major shock to her, and he knew he could be difficult to life with at the moment, but remembering her words from the last time he had been there, he drew comfort in the fact that she knew he cared, and she was just not about to abandon him at all. He didn't think he could bear it if she too would be punished because of him, if he turned into some kind of menace where whoever travelled with him had to pay a price, yet the evidence of the trio of eyes spoke against him, there was just eternal doom above them, and the question came up again. how many Adric's were he destined to go through?

The pin striped doctor was currently talking with the young girl who looked like a tumbler, he had the answers, the answers the doctor so desperately needed.

Trying to calm himself and look civilized the doctor approached the pin striped doctor. "can I have a word?" he asked in the best manner he could muster.

the pin striped doctor just sighed. "we both know you're going to have it no matter what happens so I suppose so."

the doctor really didn't liked the tone of voice the pin striped was giving him, but he guessed that he was supposed to be grateful that he had the full attention of the pin striped beanstalk as he straightened up and waved good bye to the young tumbler.

"You already know what I want to ask." it was not a question, it was a firm statement.

the pin striped doctor nodded. "and you know that I can't answer." the regret in the pin striped doctor's eyes was unbearable.

"Why ever not?" the doctor asked annoyed. "we both know I won't remember a thing when we get pulled back, I'll just to know now."

"I know how smart you are, you could probably find a way to sneak around the rules." the pin striped doctor sighed. "I can't risk telling."

"Why?" the doctor asked. "I am not blind, I can see your eyes, your regretting it! what can I do to stop whatever is meant to be?"

"That was always my greatest weakness." the pin striped doctor sighed, looking as ancient and old as he probably was. "to much compassion, even when I was a pain in the butt, it was just because of my stupid compassion. things would be so much easier if I could just stop care."

The doctor felt horrified from the that statement, how could the pin striped say something like that! compassion was the only thing to keep him from being another menace of the universe, the only thing stopping him from being another master or another kind of Dalek, the very thing he had devoted his life to fight against. "Easier but not right!" he stated horrified. "it's just not right."

"of cause it isn't, but it keeps on getting harder." the pin striped sighed.

And there they were again, those dreadful eyes of loneliness regret and pain, eyes that had witnessed the horror of losing in the must painful way once to many times. starring right into the six's doctors eyes.

"how many." the words escaped the doctor's mouth. "How many am I destined to watch die?" his voice involuntary began to raise. "Am I just supposed to stand and watch while all that misery turns me into you, into him!" he gestured towards the bald moody doctor in the corner. "how many?"

the pin striped doctor just shook his head. "it doesn't matter."

"Of cause it matters!" the doctor spluttered. "How many! tell me... TELL ME!" he shouted the words in desperation.

but the pin striped doctor didn't respond as he just shook his head.

"HOW MANY!" the doctor shouted again.

"TELL ME!" the words was echoed from his mind but didn't come from his mouth, it was the green jacket doctor who was shaking the bald leather jacket doctor violently.

"here we go again." the pin striped doctor turned around whilst looking regretful at the green jacket and was already on his way over there to put a gentle hand on the green jackets shoulder while shaking his head and saying some words.

what were this doctor not telling him? the doctor starred intensely at him trying to come up with a argument that would answer his questions, anything.

"I really don't get it" a deep rich well known voice sounded from his left "Why do you shout?"

The doctor spooned around to face his fourth incarnation, frustrated anger welling up in him."What do you know!" he yelled at him. "Nothing! That's what you know." He was so disappointed in himself.

The scarfed doctor defeated shook his head, as if he had just given up.. how could he give up? This was important! "I just don't get it." The tall man muttered.

The doctor was so tired of being questioned of all his previous incarnations, he knew they all saw him as an empty headed moron, he had been inside their heads, and he couldn't for his life find the energy nor patience to try and prove them wrong, he was too busy worrying about the future... for all of their sakes. "of cause you don't" he let out all of his worry and frustrations at the scarfed fourth doctor, and turned to the cricket one who soon was the learn a lesson. The lesson that would reveal the secret of the eyes, and he honestly wished both he and the young looking cricket doctor could be without it.

"And neither do you!" he said to the fifth doctor. "But you will, mark my word." he warned the cricket doctor in a horrible failing try of giving him the only warning he could when the pin stripe refused to give him the warning he so desperately wanted. " it's all this god damn fate. BLAST IT ALL!" he ranted really cursing it, stupid fate and time locks, he just couldn't bear to look at his fifth incarnation anymore, he didn't have anymore energy left in him, he just wanted to return to his own time stream, so he turned around and walked away, only to be confronted by Adric, right in front of him, who was looking at him with deep questionably eyes. The doctor closed his eyes as he met Adric but then had the touch the young boys shoulder, just to see if he was really there, which he of cause was. trying to find something to say the only thing he could come up with was. "I'm so sorry." and as an afterthought as he was being looked at by Adrics worried eyes. "Don't ever doubt that I am just so proud of you." and he couldn't bear any more as he had to get away from Adric, just as far away as possible.

"Wait!" his previous incarnation was yelling behind him. oh good, this meant this was over in a moment and he could forget it all.

"What is going to happen to Adric!"

the doctor could fell his whole body squirm by the question, but he just kept walking not turning around.

"Tell me!" a hand landed on his shoulder and the doctor closed his eyes as he looked down at the ground, oh the irony, the very same kind of begging he had given to the pin striped and no answers, it was such a blessing that the hurling was no taking a whole of them, consuming everything around them.

"tell me!"


	7. The manipulating joggler

again and again in time, the doctor was already destined to go through this because he at some point would do something very stupid, the doctor sighed as he looked out in the room and saw all that he didn't really wanted to see.

The doomed Adric speaking with his fifth incarnation, his sixth multi colored incarnation almost immediately started bickering with the third version of himself, but only because he was being provoked, and was already in quite the tachy state at his sixth incarnation was just sick with worry towards the future plus a short temper to begin with.

He could see his first incarnation sending the fighting couple a disgusted look as the old looking man had no idea what was really going on, and just thought they were all a bunch of immature kids. The pin striped and the bowtie lad had almost finished talking as they would dart out in each their direction.

"Professor where are we?" Ace tugged in his sleeve.

"In a Limbo" he told her out flatly, he had made it a habit with her not to tell her everything, and not give her the answers so she could learn to use that brain of hers, unlike his other companions she needed to learn to think for herself, he always had a gift for picking up smart people who had lived their life's to the fullest and really wanted to try and be smart and figure things out first, but Ace could be lazy, which was such as shame as he saw the greatest potential in this one. He just wanted her to be able to take care of herself and become something great in the future, she deserved no less, one day she would wander off or he would have to drop her off, and he wanted her to be prepared.

"What kind of Limbo?" she then asked, and he had to give her a point, it was the right kind of question, not something stupid like who are they? why are we here? how do we get out? no, what kind of Limbo would be the golden answer in which the answers to most of the other questions would be.

"My personal Limbo" the doctor told her. "My past and future all squirmed together in these few minutes of time before everything goes back again."

Having learned only to ask good questions Ace simply nodded all though he doubted she understood.

Just in front of the Doctor he suddenly saw Peri who had been forced away from him so abruptly in his previous life, in one of the most horrendous half hours of his long life he had thought she had been another Adric, and it had been such a blessing to be proved wrong for once, it was with great regret he suddenly remembered how he had treated her, she had been such a smart girl, and he would honestly be lost without her, he owed her so much. she had briefly been patted on the shoulder by the bowtie whom already was on his way to the next person, and the Doctor really felt the urge to go to her and explain himself. "Just stay here Ace" he told his companion off as he approached Peri.

"Peri!" he waved at her.

Confused she looked in his direction as she gave a nervous smile. "another version of him?" she asked doubtful.

The doctor smiled an askew smile to her with a raised eyebrow as he stood right in front of her. "afraid so." he told her softly. "I guess you can say I am your versions nearest future."

"you look less frighteningly" Peri tried a nervous tease. "more nice..How's the temper?" she asked carefully.

"Peri look." the doctor hesitated knowing his limited time span. "I never got to tell you thanks." he said tryingly. "To proud I guess, also am now, but it's kind of different when I know I'm not going to see you again."

"oh you don't need to thank me." Peri nervously fingered with her hands the way the doctor knew she would have done in their early days of traveling. "As you said, it's a privilege to travel in time and space."

"Peri, I know I was difficult and I do need to say thanks" the doctor tried to tell her honestly as he gently placed a hand on her hand. "I often need somebody to stop me, and somebody to keep my head straight, especially when I was him." he gestured to his sixth incarnation that had just been done with the velvet Dandy and was now turning to his fifth incarnation. Peri visible gipped as she saw his fifth incarnation standing there.

"I know what can cheer you up!" he then figured with a great smile as he pulled 3 joggling balls from his jacket and started juggling. "This regeneration has such a great physical capability" he smiled proudly. "I can outrun that yelling x-version of mine in a instant."

Peri only smiled hesitantly but the amusement in her eyes was unmistakable, and as he jumped up upon a chair while still joggling, she now openly smiled widely. As he pulled 2 other balls out to joggle with five balls at the same time she was outright laughing and clapping her hands in grant amusement.

"That's right!, just let out the laugh!" the doctor encouraged her, but then his own mood sank as he saw the bowtie hugging Sarah Jane, and then saw the green jacket doctor standing quite alone. 1, 2, 3, 4 left.. and the last three was the trio of eyes. "It feels so great to see you again Peri, I do owe you everything but... if you would excuse me"

he hesitantly jumped down from the chair to give her a light hug before approaching the green jacket future of himself. "afraid?" he asked as he had reached his green jacket counterpart.

"you're not getting into me head." the green jacket answered promptly. "I know how your head works."

"Yeas you do, so you know I'm also just worried." the doctor sighed deeply. "I only got you left before" he pointed towards the leather jacket doctor who had returned to his young companion and was now holding her hand tightly. well, he supposed it was a good thing that that incarnation wasn't alone, that was when something else odd struck him, that blond girl holding his future incarnations hand was the only person left in the room he didn't knew. "Where's your companion" he found himself asking the green jacket doctor.

"Don't have any at the moment." the green jacket shrugged him off.

"Wonder if those two are alone to" he glanced at the pin striped who was currently talking to Ace and bowtie who was at Jamie and Zoe.

"Why would that matter?" the green jacket shrugged. "it doesn't mean anything."

"But aren't you the least bit worried." the doctor asked confused, he knew he was. "just look at them, I know you have noticed the eyes, I saw them to?" he gestured towards the trio of the eyes. "what kind of horrors have they gone through to get those eyes? can you even imagine?"

"I said it doesn't matter" the green jacket told him back not even looking at the little doctor.

"Fine then" the doctor hrmpfed. "I think I rather see the horrors than turn into something not caring."

"How many?"

Neither of the two doctors needed to turn their head towards their sixth incarnation, they both knew what was going on, and neither felt it necessary to look, or listen, the pin striped would say that it didn't matter.

"How many? tell me... TELL ME!"

before the doctor knew what was going on the green jacket had left his side and walked straight towards the leather Jacket to grab it firmly and sneer something into his head, the bald man shook his head, where after the green jackets words sounded. "TELL ME!"

the doctor could not phantom how stupid he had been just one moment ago, of cause the green jacket was worried sick, and was dead scared of the future that now for him seemed so close at hand. this time the doctor looked away as the pin striped one calmed the green jacket doctor down.

Past.. future.. it was all muddled together in this little pocket of time of space, was it even worth worrying about? did he even have the energy? a stolen glance at the pin striped and the green jacket standing together, one knowing one who was about to know. another stolen glance at the bowtie talking compassionately to his granddaughter probably for the last time, the ultimate picture of past and future standing side by side. the doctor sighed, it seemed like an eternity since he had dropped of Susan. And he felt so tired, so very tired. He needed a break, a very long break.

As the worry really started taking whole in his past when his fifth incarnation realized something bad was going to happen, it was a relieving bliss when the hurl come to rip them all apart and leave the soft dark empty spot in his mind, he would ask later what he possible could have forgotten that seemed so important, but right now forgetting was a gift.


	8. The frightened gentleman

"Oh, that's how it happened!"

The doctor didn't shoot any annoyed glances to his older counterpart, he didn't sigh and he didn't curse the inconvenience. Just... as he remembered what this room meant he could fell his hearts sink and his courage failing as he just wanted to let the ground swallow him and make him disappear, he felt that lost.

He knew that he was supposed to end in a fit and begin to shake the leather jacket violently, only trouble was that he didn't really wanted to, he was way too good for that.

Past, present... future.. it all seemed so muddled sometimes.

His velvet third incarnation was arguing with his sixth worried and easily provoked self as his future leather jacket self was making his way to Susan.

He was a time lord, he was supposed to have a clear grasp of these things, past and future.

The past could seem so muddled and fuzzy, reality is only what happens inside the mind of each individual perceiver, the realities for two different persons would be two completely things, and the reality for the individual was on a constant change, just looking out in the room and thinking back on what had gone through his mind on those previous visits were prove of that.

his first incarnation was busy feeling disgrace towards his future, or was it worry over those things he had no control over? the doctor didn't really remember, his fourth, fifth, sixth and seventh incarnation had grown wiser and more perceptive with age, and they were worried, the only one who actually tried to do something about it was his sixth self, the aspect of him who had made the biggest afford to try and hide his feelings but yet still wore them on his sleeve, which was ironic as his seventh self was a master as hiding his true emotions without even trying. the past, the time before and after the revelation that the future most differently would be dangerous, how ironic the people before the revelation wanted to know and the people after just wanted to forget, the grass is always green on the other side the doctor mussed.

Future, the sacred hidden truth, no one can predict what happens tomorrow and what you are going to realize, how your perception of reality is going to change and how different people can affect you, looking out in the room there was only one nameless face left. The rest had been nameless and personality less once, but he had come to know them. All people you watch around the street are nameless like that, it's first when you take the time to sit down and decide to exchange a few words, to listen, that the other gets a face and a person, they all have stories and personalities, you just don't see it before you take the time and the afford to approach them. And when you do there is no telling how they can affect your future, how one little conversation with a passing person inspires you to make a choice or find a solution you otherwise wouldn't, and that triggers a whole new string of events. The future, it's nothing but a fog swooned around by the wind.

his future incarnation of the bald moody one was back with his still nameless companion, there was just no telling what was going on inside of that mans mind, neither the two others who apparently couldn't stand still for very long as they were busy catching up , they whole heartedly seemed determent to catch up with their past.

They had the answers, the simple answers of what was to happen, the means to make the fog diverse just a little bit to let him get a look, and just the faintest idea of what was going to happen. the aura from them scared him. As a Timelord the doctor was already an impressive being, but it was like they had become something more, a constant and needed force in the universe, a being beyond reason and imagination, something so great that no one could ever truly perceive it, let alone himself, their nearest past, how was it that that old grandfather in the corner who only wanted to protect his granddaughter had become that? it was a question impossible to answer.

The present is what should be reliable, but it isn't, the now the doctor saw now as his third incarnation talked to Jamie and Zoe and his sixth was trying to give his fifth self a warning was already the past. His third incarnation had moved on to say hallo to Sarah and his fifth incarnation was being given an advice from Peri, which basically meant that his past seventh self was on the way to him.

"Afraid?"

It was such a stupid question really, of cause he was afraid, and he was old and experienced enough to admit it to himself, but he didn't wanted to lose control this time, even though he knew he was supposed to, he didn't wanted to. "you're not getting into me head." he tried to tell his smaller self off, really not wanting to be around the little master manipulator who normally never addressed any feelings. "I know how your head works."

"Yeas you do, so you know I'm also just worried." the little man sighed deeply as he almost leaned his chin on his umbrella handle, something the doctor never really had been aware of he did. "I only got you left before" he pointed towards the leather jacket doctor.

Unaware the doctor actually now caught the leather jackets doctor's eyes. and it was not a good feeling, it felt like being sucked into a deep whole of misery and loneliness, and further more it felt like mocking, like the leather jacket knew what was going to happen, he knew it! he had the answers!

"Where's your companion"

"Don't have any at the moment." The doctor tried to sound as relaxed as possible, it was true, he didn't really have one right now, but not because he didn't want to, he just hadn't really found the right person yet, part of him was a bit reluctant to bring more people on his dangerous adventures, though deep down he knew that he needed somebody to tell him stop and get his head straight sometimes.

"Wonder if those two are alone to"

The doctor didn't want to look at the two which his little past self was talking about. "Why would that matter?" actually it was a really good question, be he didn't wanted to be asked anymore questions "it doesn't mean anything." It meant everything! these three incarnation seemed so powerful, and when your powerful you need a conscious beside you who can see things from another angle. otherwise you'll become blind.

"But aren't you the least bit worried."

Of cause he was worried! he was worried sick! why wouldn't that little troll just shut up! was it to protect the people they traveled alone? would something happen to that blond girl? the pin striped sure seemed full of regret when he had hugged her earlier, as if she had been lost forever. And the question returned. the horrendous question.. how many more Adrics?

"just look at them, I know you have noticed the eyes, I saw them to?" his seventh incarnation gestured towards the trio of the eyes. "what kind of horrors have they gone through to get those eyes? can you even imagine?"

No he could not? if that little troll couldn't what ever made him think that he could? "I said it doesn't matter!" He tried to shut the doctor up, as his eyes again fell on his bald future, and those oh so dangerous eyes with the mocking glimpse in them, or wasn't it mocking? maybe he was just making it up, but it felt like mocking.

"Fine then" the little doctor hrmpfed. "I think I rather see the horrors than turn into something not caring."

The doctor had difficulty facing his own disappointment, but right now he saw red.

"How many!" his sixth incarnation yelled the question that burned his own mind. How many would he have to watch die? would he be the one killing some of them? all of them?

"How many? tell me... TELL ME!"

The doctor saw red, he just couldn't control his own actions as he had to shut those mocking eyes off, just make them go away as he steered towards the bald doctor and let out all of his frustrations shaking the other man while his young companion kept herself in the background. in the back if his head the doctor knew he was doing wrong, but he could only see red. He just wanted those stupid eyes to lose their sorrowful glow "just stop it!" he sneered the nonsensical sentence into the other man's face who just looked back at him with.. was that pity in his eyes? it felt like an even greater mock and embarrassment, and the doctor's desperation grew. "What is there is going to happen! why do you have eyes like that?"

and the other doctor was just as dead silent as ever, only shaking his head lightly with so pitiful eyes.

"Why don't you speak!" the doctor could feel his voice raising in tones. "What is it that's so horrible that you can't speak about it? Tell me!... TELL ME!" he yelled those two last words into the other doctors face and was rewarded with nothing but those eyes of pity.

a gently hand landed on the doctors shoulder as a soft couple of words sounded. "stop it, it's not his fault."

It was like all the energy just left the doctor, all the red energy, and now it only leaved his confusion and fright behind. "who is its then?" he mumbled the words not sure the man behind him would able to hear them.

"not yours anyway, let it go."

And the doctor did let go as he loosened his grip on the bald mans jacket and bowed his head to gently being guided by the pin striped doctor away from that corner. he just felt so lost somehow, and the gentle guidens from his future was just so well needed.. why did he travel without a companion anyway?

"Because I choose not to."

oh right, the man was literately inside of his own head as he was in fact the pin stripeds most literarily past.

"My bowtie future claims he is not traveling alone however, I guess it's up to the individual to trust him on the word or not." the pin striped mussed.

"I do" the doctor answered his future back, he did because he needed to, god he needed to believe his future weren't alone, lord he knew he felt alone right now, he could sense his fourth incarnation standing so very closely, wondering what he was missing.

"you're not alone." the pin striped made aware as he could fell the gentle hand being laid on his shoulder. "All these annoying, loud and yet wonderfully charming people are always with you" the pin striped tried to lighten the mood.

it didn't help the bit on the doctor's mood though. "but your all just different aspects of me, the definition of a person alone is a person who is only in company with himself, technically I am all alone in this room."

The pin striped didn't seem to have an answer for that, he just stood there and gave him his silent support and whatever comfort there could be in that silence.

The doctor sighed as he covered his face with his hand as his fifth incarnation was catching up on his sixth. "I think I came back from my break a too soon" he sighed. "I need rest."

"Take the rest." the pin striped advice. "You're going to need it so much."

And with those last words the hurl was taking away the possibility for more questions, but what would be the point of the answers? he really didn't wanted to know anyway, and even though he wouldn't remember the pin striped doctors words in a minute, he knew that he would pick up on the advice and rest for yet another while.. just rest.


	9. The regretting rouge

no... no no NO!

he was here again! of all freak accidents his future self could bring them into, why would it have to be something like this!

"Doctor.." Rose his faithful companion who as usually had refused to ever let go of him kept herself close as she held his hand, as she could fell his discomfort. "Where are we?"

The doctor had so much trouble explaining himself as he looked out in the room, and there he saw her, his own flesh and blood, the girl who just wanted to be with her family but had to die with the others, she had been there, at Gallifray fighting, and he had killed her. "my past.. sort of" the doctor mumbled as it suddenly felt like he had left reality as he only had eyes for Susan. "just stay here." he instructed Rose as he himself started crossing the room, he just had to ask for forgiveness, he could not bear it if he had seen her but not had asked it, not even explained himself a little bit, so many had died in that fire, his small family of a mother and a father, his brother who he didn't knew that well but it didn't alter the fact that he killed him, and Susan. the one person he had sworn always to protect and never let down, and just ensure her happiness for all eternity. he needed to explain himself so very badly.

As he finally stood in front of her he could fell his old looking, though very young compared to everyone else, version of himself looking shocking at him. It was hard for the old man to see his own future, but the doctor didn't care for his past self, he just wanted to see Susan, yet as he now finally stood in front of her, he had nothing left to say. it would have to take much understanding and bravery from Susan, but it was there in the eyes as she let go of her own doctor to take the first step and pulled him into an embrace.

"Susan.. I am so, so sorry." he whispered to her as he fought his own tears back, though his voice was almost breaking.

he could fell hear head nod as she tightened her embrace and answered. "it's okay, I understand." though her tightened embrace told more than her words, he always had her full forgiveness, even if she actually knew he would still have it, and as irrational as it may sounded it actually gave relief to his burdened soul that though yet still seemed so very heavy to him to bear, it was first when he grew numb to release her that she to let go. without thinking about it he watched his old looking counterpart for a moment, who looked back at him with wide opened eyes in shock, and then he looked back at Susan as he tried to take in her every single feature for safe keeping to the future, which again was silly as he would forget all this as soon as the universe would straighten itself out, but it wouldn't stop him from trying. But he couldn't bear to look for long as he just turned around to get back to Rose. He was not entirely spared facing more regrets however as he on the way back suddenly stood face to face with his fourth self, the one who had been at Davros and had held to switch and the possibility to turn the Daleks off forever, to have made them never even existing, and thereby never have started the time war so he wouldn't have had to end it all. "You had the chance." the doctor said in a low voice so Jo who was talking with his fourth self wouldn't have to capture the self loathing in the words. "you could have ended it." And once again he just couldn't bear looking any more on those deep questioning blue eyes, he just had to get away and moved back to Rose where his future pin striped self was only just leaving her.

the doctor sighed, also she was destined to get off the Tardis one day.

Immediately as he got close to her, her hand searched his as she hold it tightly, not even asking any questions as she could fell his distress. for some time they just stood in silence as the events out in the room unfolded them self as a map being folded out.

"Rose." he finally broke the silence.

"Yeas" Rose answered listening intensely while starring at him, she probably hoped for some kind of explanation, just a shame he weren't really able to give her one.

For a moment his eyes were meet with the confused questionable eyes of his eight self. "In a moment, that man in the green jacket will confront me, I need you to let him, just stay away in the background." The doctor told her softly, he wanted the reprimand from the past, and he wanted her to understand.

"That man in the renascence clothe?" Rose asked. "But why? what gives him the right and not other people?"

"I happen to be in deep respect and sympathy for that man" the doctor instructed her as he in the corner of his eye could see his sixth incarnation approach his future self. "and right now he is just in a very difficult spot, I need you to stay out when he confronts me."

"okay" Rose complied with that single simple word that yet meant everything.

The doctor's eyes were stuck on his past eight self as he saw the green jacket man grow more and more desperate with the wordings, the doctor know the eye contact only made it worse, but he just couldn't help it as suddenly his past self was stamping towards him with the arms already outstretched and his eyes in apparent rage but behind the rage was the trace of the fuel to it which was just sheer confusion and fright as he grapped a tight hold on the doctors jacket to try and lift the doctor up, but the little affect.

"just stop it!" The man in front of the doctor sneered in deep anger, though the next sentence was that of fear "What is there is going to happen! why do you have eyes like that?"

Oh, even if the doctor could explain how would he? I killed of my entire planet? my entire family? I am the only one left of all of us... the hands that are holding my jacket right now will be the once to pull the swift, dose exact hands will be the last one to ever touch the ground of Gallifray. no, there was no words to describe what he felt.

"Why don't you speak!" The green jackets doctors voice raised as he began to shake the doctors jacket. "What is it that's so horrible that you can't speak about it? Tell me!... TELL ME!" The words was yelled into the doctors face, but again the doctor lacked the means to even make an attempt, there was just nothing to say.

The doctor hadn't really been aware that the pin striped was suddenly standing behind his green jacket pass self and in front of himself. "stop it, it's not his fault." as the words was spoken he meet the eyes of his future self, those understanding eyes which had come to terms with what had happened, The doctor sincerely looked forward to become that, this future obviously had found a way to deal with it, he personally hadn't. but hope was there.

. "who is its then?" The green jacket asked as the energy visible just floated out of him.

"not yours anyway, let it go." and his past eight incarnation did let go of the his jacket to being gently guided away from him by his future pin striped incarnation. no, it was most differently not his fault, that man had only wanted to life in peace in a universe full of life.

As did the doctor himself, he just wanted to be in peace, which maybe also just meant that it wasn't really his fault, though he wasn't sure.

"over now?" Rose asked as she approached him with frightened eyes as she looked long after his past green jacket self and his future pin striped self.

"Yeah, all over now" the doctor answered her as her hand automatically searched his.

"Except we are still here." Rose made him aware as they were quite trapped in the big room.

"Oh, yeah I forget to explain this to you didn't I? better do it know because I won't be able to answer any questions in a moment." the doctor scratched his head. "This is kind of a freak accident and all to do with me, basic is that a flaw happened in the space and time continuum and it has shuffed all of us aside as it fix itself and then just plunge us back to where we belong, thing just is that I am not going to remember a thing as this is not supposed to happen, but as you were not even supposed to be put in here with me, you will probably remember"

"urhm... okay.." Rose obviously had no clue what he was talking about, but she probably got the basics of it.

This time as the doctor saw his future he saw hope, they were his future was there and it was coping, he just couldn't ask any more than that at the moment, looking at his past he was longing for it, to those days of blissed not knowing and never being really alone though he had liked to pretend different, yet it helped to know that the darkest hours of his life was over and done with. the future seemed fine.

The hurl was taking it's tool, though thankfully this time it weren't ripping him apart from who he was talking to, his and Rose's hands held tight throughout the whole trip until he found himself back in the Tardis with that empty dark whole in his mind, and Rose now teasing him that she knew something he didn't.

infernal cheek, she would not be allowed to get away with that for long-


	10. The energetic beanstalk

oh brilliant! he was here again!

The doctor couldn't for his life recall why he had minded so much in the past, or maybe it was just his current situation, he had decided to travel alone, it had simply become to dangerous to take people with him, but the thing just was he had been so empty inside lately, and to see all of these familiar faces just made him smile.

Only one face in the entire room wasn't familiar, his older self who stood right beside him holding a hand over his mouth. "So, still travelling alone?" the doctor asked his older young looking counterpart.

"No not really" the bowtie shrugged. "Started talking to myself, not healthy when your supposed to be the stabilizing force of the universe." and he seemed to realize something as he pointed at the tenth doctor. "you are talking to yourself! you really should stop doing that!"

"you know, technically your talking to yourself now" the doctor pointed out smilingly as he noticed the worried glimpse from his fifth self bit shrugged it off, he was only chit chatting, not deciding the faith of the universe.

"Oh right" the bowtie answered as his eyes rolled around. "well, Say how do you fell about traveling with a married couple?"

"Well.. that would be different." the doctor scratched his ear. "Just if they aren't to dusty and dull, that would be a bit of a let down."

"I don't think you would have to worry about that." the bowtie doctor blinked mischievously. "So I suppose last chance to say good bye" He looked out in the room.

The doctor snapped his fingers. "What do you say we split, we can't manage all of them individually, so if I take half and you take half, I will technically have managed to say a last word to all of them."

"See, I knew you would say that." the bowtie smiled. "that's because I am so brilliant."

The doctor smiled broadly, it was great to know he wouldn't completely loose his sense of humour. "So you already know who's gonna go where, so where am I going?" the doctor asked his older self with a glimpse in his eyes.

"I rather save the best for the last." the bowtie mussed. "And get over the difficult part first, you go to Tegan and Adric, I bet I can get to Jamie and Zoe without anybody even noticing before I'm gone."

"Hey no fair!" the doctor pouted as he pointed an accusing finger towards his older self. "we both been all the others, you know nobody is going to notice!"

The doctor could just fell how warmly his bowtie counterpart was smiling at him as the green eyes was glimpsing with amusement. "I really miss being you" his counterpart smiled. "I miss being so many of those people." he gestured out in the room.

"Well I'm sure that's all fine" the doctor snorted hating it when it became personal, even with himself. "We have much to do and little time to waste, so I guess we go on three."

"ONE TWO THREE!" his older counterpart yelled as they both ran out in each their direction.

His direction was clear towards Tegan and Adric who had been left alone by his fifth self who had gone on to play peace maker. "Tegan! Adric!" he smiled and waved at them before he halted right in front of them. "Just needed to say you are brilliant!" he pointed towards Tegan. "And you were brilliant!" he pointed towards Adric. "you were just the bestests of companions and I would have been so lost without you! I owe you so much!"

Tegan blinked for a while, while gaping at him. "You're the doctor" she stated the obvious.

unfortunately the doctor didn't have time for chit chat as he just quickly hugged both of them in one great squeezing hug. "And your indispensable to me, don't ever let that grumpy blond tell you differently" before darting away and to the corner where Rose was standing alone, he could still fell both Adric's and Tegan's wide opened eyes on his back, though it only amused him that he could take them so much by surprise, he just hoped they understood his thanks to them.

"Rose!" he yelled at her as she stood there and looked wide eyed on him, which had to be a bit frightening sight as he was just running straight towards her, and he didn't give her time to adjust to the situation before he picked her up and swung her around. "Rose! I just needed to tell you how brilliant you are!"

"excuse me.. who are you?" Rose stuttered unsure of the situation as she was put down again.

"Oh right he didn't tell you" the doctor mussed as he saw his ninth incarnation standing with Susan. "Well.. I am sort of an aspect of him.. sort of.. everything he knows I know.. and I know how brilliant you are."

"oh I see" Rose nodded before shaking her head. "no I don't.. never mind"

"He needs you so much, I just wanted to tell you thanks for being there and.." he hugged her close to him while his mind calculated who was more important to say good bye to.. Jo and Peri already had gotten their great good buys and apologies for any past inconveniences. Ace on the other hand he never had explained anything to, and there she was left alone in the middle of the room.

"No sweat" Rose muttered from his hug.

The doctor let go of her as he could see his leather jacket past self getting closer. "he needs you" the doctor smiled at her. "and I need to get going." and then he left her to his ninth incarnation while he himself darted in the direction of Ace.

"Hey Ace!" he ran to her with outstretched arms as she also just looked frightened back at him.

"Keep the bloody hell away from me you freak!" Ace braced herself putting her hands up in two firm fists.

"Ace?" the doctor stopped up directly in front her as he didn't doubt she would hit him if her got to close.

"All right who are you, and what do you want?" Ace was asking all the right questions just as she had been taught by his seventh previous self.

"Ace it's me" the doctor took a hand to his chest. "Remember I told you this is my personal limbo with past and future all squirmed together, I am my.. hi's future. my appearance have changed but my memory is intact."

"Professor?" Ace eyes widened as her fists was lowered but not completely gone.

"I told you no professor or doc" the Doctor snorted annoyed, though he didn't mind the professor bit, he just knew it was how his seventh self would have reacted, and his time was very limited.

"Professor!" Ace repeated the word but this time a lot more enthusiastically. "I say, you didn't get to look half dishy!" she walked around the doctor to look him completely over. "Why can't you look like that while travelling with me?" she asked with a lifted eyebrow. "Would sure have put _me_ in a better light wherever we went."

"I don't control how I look" the doctor tried to explain while keeping his own amusement out of his voice, though he knew he was failing horrible. "Look Ace, this is probably my last chance to see you, So I just wanted to say something."

"Shoot" Ace now stood directly in front of him.

"Well, I wanted to apologies, I haven't always been that nice to you, actually I have been rather hard on you for no reason."

"Oh stop it professor" Ace shook his head and waved him off. "I don't need this trash, I know why you do it, I'm an incurable trouble maker, and I just want to say something to you. Thank you" her eyes was suddenly looking with sheer honesty at him. "Thank you for taking me with you and taking care of me, I had no one, I guess what your saying is your never going to see me again, so I guess this is also my last chance, I never had a father to tell me right from wrong fessor.. so I guess what I am saying is.. oh shoot!" Ace cursed down at the floor.

The doctor on the other hand felt so touched by the admission that he couldn't quite believe it himself. "Ace I" he was lost for words. "I would have been proud to have you as a daughter" there he said the words. "And thank you, I may not have showed it, but I really needed you back then, I was dependent on you"

And then something more shockingly happened, something the doctor never ever thought he should see, an emotional tear escaped Ace's eyes though she tried to hide with by weeping it away and half turn her head around. "And I who thought you didn't care fessor" she tried to joke but failed miserably as her voice actually broke.

"Oh Ace" he sighed deeply. "It's just not true, he really needs you"

"can I have a word?" a surprisingly calm and well mannered voice considering who it came from spoke from behind the doctors back.

The doctor sighed, time for his sixth incarnation to ask about the war, even though he had no idea that it was going to happen "we both know you're going to have it no matter what happens so I suppose so." The doctor answered defeated, he really didn't want to go through all this again, but he supposed he had to, with a last smile at Ace he straightened up and waved good buy to her with an assuring glance before turning around to stand face to face with his past sixth self, who had eyes filled with worry.

"You already know what I want to ask." The firm statement sounded from his intelligent counterpart.

The doctor nodded, yeah he knew, his sixth incarnation wanted to know what was going to happen. "and you know that I can't answer." he answered honestly trying make his past self drop it.

"Why ever not?" The annoyed tone was only there to cover up for the obvious worry "we both know I'll won't remember a thing when we get pulled back, I just want to know now." his sixth incarnation pressed on.

"I know how smart you are, you could probably find a way to sneak around the rules." The doctor sighed, and it was probably the truth, just with no time lords in existence such things would be more dangerous than ever, his sixth incarnation might try to do something he otherwise wouldn't, he knew how air headed he could be sometime. "I can't risk telling."

"Why?" His sixth asked now with the desperation steadily growing. "I am not blind, I can see your eyes, your regretting it! what can I do to stop whatever is meant to be?" his sixth incarnation pleaded... oh yeas the eyes.. the doctor had forgotten how it felt to look at them from the other side.. did he really have eyes like that? he didn't fell all that different.

"That was always my greatest weakness." The doctor sighed thinking back to when he was that clash coloured menace who stood in front of him, who always just followed his impulses and far to large heart, refusing to take other peoples advice. "to much compassion, even when I was a pain in the butt, it was just because of my stupid compassion. things would be so much easier if I could just stop care." good thing he at least not cared as much any-more, if people wanted to be foolish now, he would just let them. though he would never be able to see innocent victims or children be hurt, he just couldn't stand see children crying.

He could see the horrified look from his sixth self as the words hit his mind."Easier but not right!" the other doctor stated horrified "it's just not right."

"of cause it isn't, but it keeps on getting harder." the doctor tried to explain himself to his counterpart as he thought back at the reasons of why he only travelled alone..

"how many." the clash colored doctor himself seemed surprised by the words that escaped his mouth, but as he had already started he continued. "How many am I destined to watch die?"his voice began rising, god it felt so odd being on the receiving end after being him and knowing what went though his mind, he could seem quite frightening, though the man didn't mean to. "Am I just supposed to stand and watch while all that misery turns me into you, into him!" The doctor pointed to their ninth moody self who was standing with Rose, and the desperation grew, the doctor had never wanted to kill or hurt anyone, in fact he had sworn never to do so only if absolutely necessary, and now this man in front of him was destined to kill a whole planet, though only far off in the future. "how many?"

The doctor shook his head as he tried to clear his mind "it doesn't matter." he tried to tell his past counterpart off.

"Of cause it matters!" the sixth incarnation spluttered releasing the uncontrollable temper of his. "How many! tell me... TELL ME!" The words was shouted in desperation.

The doctor could only shake his head, he just didn't dare to open his mouth in fright that he might spill something he shouldn't.

"HOW MANY!" the ill tempered sixth incarnation shouted again as if he thought it would actually make any difference.

"TELL ME!" the words came from another even more lost incarnation as that specific one was on the brim to do his horrible deed.

"here we go again." the doctor sighed as he turned around were he save the dreadful sight of his eight incarnation shaking his ninth to get some answers.

In three long steps the doctor was at his two struggling past selves as he put a calm hand on his eight self to prevent him from making any real damage. "stop it, it's not his fault." the doctor sighed as he could fell how tense the eight doctor stood.

he could fell how his hand got lowered as the entire body of his eight incarnation sank down as the tension left him, so the green jacket doctor only stood there with sunken shoulders and a half hearted grasp in his ninth incarnations leather jacket. "who is its then?" his eight mumbled the sentence so the doctor could barely hear it, but he knew what he was saying.

"not yours anyway, let it go." the doctor instructed calmly and watched satisfied as his commanding was obeyed and his eight incarnation let go. As the doctor gently guided his past self through the room and away from his ninth incarnation he recalled what the elegant dressed green jacket doctor was thinking, why was he travelling alone.

"Because I choose not to." the doctor answered the unspoken question as honestly as he could, it was just to dangerous dragging people with him. "My bowtie future claims he is not traveling alone however, I guess it's up to the individual to trust him on the word or not... something about a married couple, can you believe it?" he mused recalling their brief conversation, maybe his mind had become all muddled up doing regeneration, there was just no telling.

"I can" the eight doctor said the words with such confidence it actually startled the doctor a bit. "Because I want to believe it, I honestly do." the man was strong to have such confidence in the unknown future, the doctor had to respect his past self for that.

"you're not alone." The doctor tried to raise the mood as he placed a hand on his past self shoulder. "All these annoying, loud and yet wonderfully charming people are always with you" He reminded his past self.

"but your all just different aspects of me, the definition of a person alone is a person who is only in company with himself, technically I am all alone in this room." the green jacket pointed out.

oh, he had forgotten that argument. lonely was such an odd verb really, everyone would always be lonely, that is the part of being alive and walking around the earth, a man on a street in a major city totally crowded in people could fell more lost and alone than anyone. Everyone is alone, the only major difference between humanoids and animals were just that the humanoids were aware of the fact, standing now with somebody who knew what was going on inside of his mind most literately was probably to closest thing he could ever come to not being alone, no matter how many companions he may pick up in the future. the doctor couldn't help but steal a glance as his fourth self he was standing right in front of them looking questionable at them, he missed being that person, things just seemed a bit simpler with that one.

The green jacket sighed deeply and heavily as he covered his face with his hands. "I think I came back from my break a too soon" he sighed. "I need rest."

"Take the rest." the doctor advised knowing what was just about to happen, war.. pain.. lost.. and after that, not a moments break to relaxation "You're going to need it so much."

And the hurl was back to steal away the memories from this room and this freak accident, to rip him away from the past and place him safely back in the Tardis, where the doctor oddly enough for once had the feeling that this was going to be an somewhat good day.


	11. The old schoolteacher

"Oh, that's how it happened!" the Doctor exclaimed the words loudly as he realized the circumstances for the freak accident before covering his mouth up with his hand as several of annoyed looks was being send to him from past incarnations, especially his third and fifth incarnation daggers in their eyes and seemed like they were ready to kill.

"So, still traveling alone?" His tenth incarnation spoke to him.

"No not really" the doctor shrugged, he had asked Amy to stand aside as he tinkered with, well it didn't really matter, point just was she was too far away to grab a hold on him, but it was going to be fine in a moment. "Started talking to myself, not healthy when your suppose to be the stabilizing force of the universe." then he realized that it was this incarnation in front of him who bassicly were talking to himself so the doctor weren't late to point a finger. "you start talking to yourself! you really should stop doing that."

"you know, technically your talking to yourself now" his tenth incarnation pointed out smilingly.

"Oh right" the doctor rolled his eyes as he had been handed by himself, before he smirked with the the knowledge that not only had he one companion, he actually had two. "well, Say how do you fell about traveling with a married couple?" he asked amused, he had to admit, it was a new exsperience for him.

"Well.. that would be different." the tenth doctor scratched his ear. "Just if they aren't to dusty and dull, that would be a bit of a let down."

"I don't think you would have to worry about that." the doctor almost chuckled, with his thoughts upon the fiery ginger scottish girl, and the nurse. who were also one of the few people the doctor had ever allowed to let hit him and still be onboard the Tardis."well, I suppose last chance to say good bye" he looked out in the room which he was no seeing for the very last minute, he was so close at being lost in the moment that he almost jumped as his tenth incarnation snapped his fingers.

"What do you say we split, we can't manage all of them individually, so if I take half and you take half, I will technically have managed to say a last word to all of them." his tenth incarnation babbled as the doctor already knew that was precisely what they were going to do.

"See, I knew you would say that." the doctor smiled as he actually quite enjoyed the light mooded company of his most recent past, there was no dread for the future with him, the worst was over forever. at least he hoped so, it was only with dread that his mind involuntary began to think in the lines of Riversong "that's because I am so brilliant." he covered his thought patterns up with the joke so his past incarnation wouldn't grow suspicious and start asking questions.

fortunately the tenth doctor didn't notice a thing as he just smiled broadly "So you already know who's gonna go where, so where am I going?" the tall doctor asked.

"I rather save the best for the last." the doctor mussed as he knew who he already had said good buy to, and really really wanted to say a last goodbye to Susan "And get over the difficult part first, you go the Tegan and Adric, I bet I can get to Jamie and Zoe without anybody even noticing before I'm gone."

"Hey no fair!" his tenth incarnation pouted, and the doctor had difficulty not snickering, he really had been acting like a child sometimes back then, it was almost as bad as the time where he always had candy on him.. Jelly babies was it. "we both been all the others, you know nobody is going to notice!" the tall doctor complained.

God it really hadn't been long since he was him, he missed that. That long energetic beanstalk, just full of energy yet his compassion was uncanny, it had been such a joy being him as he hadn't been afraid to crack a joke or mock people he didn't like. "I really miss being you" the doctor smiled warmly, though he did not regret for his upcoming, it had been a worthy cause "I miss being so many of those people." he gestured out in the room out in the room as his mind fingered with each of them. The old grandfather who just tried to led a simple life, but faith and the universe just didn't allow it, the little hobo who always had been so nice to be around, always treating people nice and being kind to his companions.

"Well I'm sure that's all fine" his tenth counterpart snorted "We have much to do and little time to waste, so I guess we go on three."

"ONE TWO THREE!" The doctor screamed as quick as his tenth incarnation had finished the sentence, and they both darted off in each their direction.

the doctor timed his approach carefully so no one would see what happened as his second self approached his third self. oh dear, the proud dandy, he missed being him to. so proud and strong, with such an authority around him that anyone would follow his every word, never breaking a sweat or a sign of fear in a dangerous situation, further more he had been the coolest martial artist back then, so sad that skill had been lost on the way.

"Jamie! Zoe!" he very quickly approached the pair behind the fighting doctors back. "Just wanted to say, you were amazing, and you were amazing!" he pointed on each of them in turn. "And the dandy will come in a moment say the rest that is being needed to be said!" without even allowing them for another word he hugged Zoe and chin kissed Jamie before darting off, leaving both of them with his third counterpart, to let him explain the situation and give a prober thanks, just as the doctor knew he would.

he waved to Jo who was talking to his fourth incarnation. That was the incarnation with the jelly babies! the doctor snapped his fingers, oh he missed being him to. he had felt so relaxed and at ease with himself in that form, he had been allowed to be wacky and himself back then, he didn't have to give anything away to other people, and people were amused by him, they easily trusted him. But there wasn't time to waste as Sarah Jane had just being excused by his third counterpart so he could return to her later.

"Sarah!" the doctor ran to her as he picked her up and swoong her around, and she let him as she understood how it worked, she had seen regeneration after all. "Sarah Jane smith" the doctor smiled at her as he let her down. "why was I always so rubbish at telling you the simplest things, you are even the one I had the most changes with!"

Sarah blinked vividly as she let out a nervous laughter. "Because your you" she smiled.

"Yeas I know." the doctor complained as he scratched his head. "Well, I just say now then, no telling if you're going to pop up again though, that would be so like you, but it's just because you're the best!" he babbled feeling kind of his tenth incarnation as he did. "just thank you Sarah Jane, thank you for everything, in past and future."

"Thank you" Sarah replied. "for.. well whatever."

"You were so amazing!" and with that he hugged her for the last time, before he retrieved to meet her eyes with a last look as he noticed his third counterpart was almost done with Zoe and Jamie. "you'll see me." and he walked off, over to Susan.

In his mind he could fell somebody stole a glance at him, and he suddenly realized it was his fifth self, oh he remembered being him, the so sweet nice and gentle cricket fan though he tried to prove the world different, that was great. Always trying to be so nice and gently to his companions, but everything just constantly went wrong for him, that was truly the incarnation where he relearned the meaning of humility, and it was the first time he had discovered the dread of being an old mind in a young somewhat attractive body, that was just horrendous, nobody took him seriously, and some women just looked at him in ways he seriously didn't like, it was with great dread he thought back on the stunt Amy had pulled on him once, he really didn't like things like that, and an old looking body would normally spare him those things, just cruel faith his current appearance was the youngest looking yet. his fifth incarnation, trying to act all grumpy and old, but with that blond school boy look and the world against him, anyone would have their work cut out for them.

as he had almost reached Susan and his two first counterparts the fight broke loose, his sixth incarnation was yelling as his tenth. many maybe didn't like that clash colored menace, but he was nothing bust just a worried menace, with the heart on his sleeve a very vulnerable sport, and a pretty short sighted mind.. something that hadn't ever really been cured. something was for sure, even the most pointless and dull of situations and locations, his sixth self would always have been interesting to be around anyhow, the doctor sort of missed that time of being so little well aware of how people watched him. that had also been a good him, he had wanted to stay that way a bit longer, just a shame faith had spoken against him.

The doctor could see his first counterpart look in utterly disgust at the fight taking place out in the room as his eight self was attacking his ninth self.

"Please don't judge them" he asked of his two younger self's and Susan "They have just been through much, and is on different times in their life." some of them were just really bad at expressing their true feelings, like his seventh self. oh that troll of a manipulating little juggler. It had been so nice being him, being able to hide his intentions and distract people's attention by an impressive show of joggling capabilities, though his mind had always been three steps ahead of all the others, and always taking the enemy by surprise. barely had "your life I suppose." he mused, it was so strange to think about. this elderly fraquile looking man had barely begun what would become the grandest and longest adventure in the universe, not yet had he become such a big time event that the universe would bend over by his absence, not yet were countless of people counting on him, devoted to his exploitations. not yet the legend he would become. This elderly looking man was the little seed that would become the tree of life, plugged out of time the moment before the seed was going to be planted, just before Susan would insist to go to school and that would lead to the meeting with Barbara and Ian. and that meeting was the beginning of everything.

He remembered his eight incarnation, he hadn't been that person long enough in his mind, he had been childish and liked to have fun while being him, but yet did it with style as he liked to dress elegantly, yet he had from the start felt the oncoming storm, and he had been a frighten man who tried to act like a gentleman, it had been in that incarnation he had fought in the way, though he never really had wanted to fight.

"I understand grandfather." Susan nodded with rich understanding eyes, she was such a brave and understanding child, it warmed the doctor's heart that she was calling him grandfather. "Your after him." she nodded towards his ninth incarnation, it was obvious to see this incarnation was in great pain and regret, and had therefore chosen to act like a rouge. he had been a god him though, he had walked around with open wounds but had tried to make the best out of it anyway, always tried to make the decisions which were best for everyone and was ready to face his mistakes with a smile and a joke on his lips.

"I'm the oldest in here." the Doctor acknowledged as he watched all the faces around him, every single of them bringing him dear memories. "Afraid all of this is my fault, but I guess it's sort of luck for me anyhow." he grinned remembering his silly mistake back in his TARDIS, well, it was at least worth a try to try and install that alien entity, as it proved it just didn't mix well with time travel technology, he had just tried to do something nice for his old lifelong companion, the poor old girl who was almost falling apart by now.

"You get to see us again." Susan smiled knowingly with a glimpse in her eyes while smiling.

"What becomes of Susan?" the old looking doctor suddenly asked frightened with wide eyes.

"Ah ah" the doctor pocked his nose as he amused saw his old looking counterpart role his eyes. "Spoilers." the doctor teased, before he turned to Susan laying both his hands upon hers. "Good buy Susan." he then told Susan seriously, he had went through all his past incarnations in his mind, which only left him. and though his legacy was already so grant he had the waste feeling his only stood on the middle of it all, that his incarnations and adventures would go one for a very long time, for moment he wondered what he would be remembered as.. the teacher perhaps? he liked teaching, teaching his companions about the universe and the universe about what surrounded it, the old teacher, the doctor. He was the doctor. always had, and always would be. the doctor.

Susan gave him another little smile. "Buy Grandfather, just to make it clear, whatever happens there is nothing to regret, I love you." the words sincerely warmed the whole of doctors being as he just had to hug her close to his chest and hold her tight.

in the background he could slightly hear his white haired incarnation complain and asking questions.. but he didn't cared, he just wanted to hold Susan close, and he was almost disappearing as the hurl came and took him for the very last time as he held as tight to Susan as he could, only to open his eyes and discover that he held the empty air in his arms. and he remembered everything.

"Doctor!" Amy's worried voice sounded from the other side of the TARDIS. "what happened?"

The doctor smiled lightly to her yet with a sad disappointed feeling in his chest. "pure nostalgia Amy" he sighed. "just nostalgia."


End file.
